What can I obsess about?

No more betas for me, and the sonogram which is 2 weeks away from today feels like an eternity away. Talk about a different kind of “two week wait”. I don’t have any more numbers to await for from the RE, and I have already peed on enough sticks to support a healthy pregnancy test industry. In fact, I peed on my last one on Wednesday since I couldn’t get my result that day but had to do SOMEthing to reassure myself. I got my darkest line ever, and was officially out of pee sticks in the house.

Even if I wasn’t, I don’t think peeing is an option anymore. If my doubling continues correctly, I should already be in the 1000s today, while a home test detects 25-50 or so. So there will be no way for me to measure that beta is increasing appropriately by hpt darkenss anymore for sure.

What to do? I can only wait.

In the mean time I’m wondering when/whether to tell family. Not a soul knows yet. Should I wait till the 6 week mark or till I see the hb? Then again, if I am doing so for the reason that something might happen before then – then wouldn’t I need their support if it does? Besides, it is so impossibly hard to be talking with them on the phone and not saying anything. How can I not blurt it out?!

I want to tell them in person, but its hard to arrange for that to happen. Should I just go ahead and do it over the phone? I’ll end up missing the chance to do it in person then though – once done, its done.

I’ve been feeling OK. Not too happy about my weight and my blood pressure is still not ideal. I measured about 138 over 85 today. Working out at the gym relegiously and keeping heart rate under 140 even more religeously.

That’s about it. I’ve been feeling a lot more emotional – but that could be just me. I don’t think I ever got over it from my last pregnancy/nursing. Speaking of which… DD still is. Very limitedly now, and I am very much (although gently) encouraging her to wean. But its not quiet easy to do. So of course I can’t believe I’m pregnant AND nursing. More things to worry about. I’m worried that nursing could be not ideal for the pregnancy, although I know a ton of women who nursed during. It was my wish though for DD to wean completely naturally though too. Lets hope we’re almost there….

Wow, I guess there IS a lot to obsess about. Hopefully I’ll keep busy these next 2 weeks…