Day 8 – telling the first few people

September 30, 2006 at 1:01 pm 1 comment

It is funny how it is – here I am on the internet broadcasting to the whole world that I am about to start an IVF cycle for all I care, yet telling the people in my life is a HUGE step. Once you say it, you can’t take it back, and you are constantly flipping over whether they really *need* to know or whether this is something to just keep strictly betwen DH and you.

On one hand, there’s nothing like support of those beside you. Lets face it, IVF thoughts will probably consume you 24-7 once the fun starts. And yet, there’s also nothing like the nightmare of having too many people on the bandwagon. The LAST thing I want is constant calls and feeling like I don’t have any privacy to decide when and what to share.

I told a friend of mine who has been through it. She was easy. She knows exactly what this is all about and she knows what to say and what not to say – furthermore she’s the type who will never ask details unless I offer them and will only ask about my general well-being as well.  

My family is the toughest part of the equation. How can I not tell them? And yet do I really REALLY want to? I sort of mentioned briefly today that we are sort of in the process of leaning towards going for IVF. It is funny, once you open your mouth,  TMI (too much information) can just flow before you stop yourself. After-fact I am rethinking everything I said, and how to proceed from here. Do I grab my privay screen and tell everyone who asks that is was “just a thought”… do I confirm that I AM doing this but be vague about it through the whole process? (then why would I need to tell in the first place?) , or do I grab those closest to me and take them through it with me, blow by blow.

I still don’t know. Today was just a litmus test for the reaction.  So far, its really supportive and the “I think it would be a GREAT decision” type of thing. But do they have what it takes to support me through this the way I would need? Bringing people from the fertile world into this one is always such shaky business. Suddenly, you are irritated at the fact that someone is ignorant about just how MUCH of a toll IF really is. That someone doesn’t know their follicles from their hormones.  And God forbid someone mention the words “test tube baby”. You have learnt the ins and outs of this process and have suffered through your crisis – suddenly someone who is too green and can blurt out something insensitive and ignorant any minute is a walking time bomb. Do you want them there with you, during a cycle that has this much at stake?

So far the litmus test was passed with flying colors. But reservations, I still do have. The last thing I would want is any added stress and perhaps the best way to get through this might just be with DH and me… and well, with the rest of the world, online 😉

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Entry filed under: All Posts, Day by Day, Emotions & Feelings.

Day 7 – the fertile world rolls on Day 9 – Fertile and abstaining…

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Mel  |  September 30, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    Its hard to know whether or not to tell family. I have told my sister. She is great. The rest of my family isn’t really. They don’t really understand why we are doing it.
    Take care

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
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