Day 44 (cycle day 16) – Back in Freak-ville.

November 5, 2006 at 10:42 pm 3 comments

Well, I had my day of relief, now its back to freak-ville.

Yesterday, after being told that I’m doing exceptionally, I decided to let go and just enjoy the moment. I am certainly glad I did, because it sure didn’t last long.

Today I got called by the office and was asked to reduce my dose again. Down to 75 units this time.

Somehow I didn’t think that meant great news with my e2 levels. Naturally I wanted to know what it was.

3152. Three thousand one hundred and fifty two!!!!!! Holy cow! What is my body thinking???!

They assured me that I was OK, even though I asked 5 million times whether my cycle is to be cancelled.

The nurse did mention that she was going to give me a packet on hyperstimulation tomorrow. Great!

I cannot believe that after reducing my dose by three times, my levels went UP by three times!!!! They freaking more than tripled!

I had meant to knock a few items off my todo list today, and even though I did try, I fell short of completing all of them, since I naturally spent a good chunk of the day researching e2 levels. Exactly what I didn’t want to do – but can I help it?

Somehow I want to be prepared for what this outcome could be. I realize now that I may be cancelled. Or I may proceed but not have a transfer and freeze everything I have. Or I may be OK. Or not. Who knows.

On a bright note, I heard a brilliant sermon at my church today. It was all about women, and just what I needed to hear. The gist of it is that we are all unique and that NO mistakes were made in our creation. We are exactly the way we were intended to be and are not to compare ourselves with others, because we were all MADE to be different. And every one of us designed just the way we are supposed to be. This couldn’t come better than during this IVF cycle when there is so much looking over at other women, worrying if you are normal, comparing e2 levels and eggs, and driving yourself crazy with obsession. I guess I need to believe that my body is doing exactly what its meant to.

Once again I am realizing I am not in control. I may freak out today, or be as calm as the queen of yoga, but this will not control where my e2 levels will be tomorrow, nor the outcome of this cycle.

I go in for bloodwork and u/s in the morning and I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

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Entry filed under: All Posts, Day by Day.

Day 43 (cycle day 15) – Follow-up Appt with a seeming turn for the better. Day 45 (cycle day 17) – Cliffhanger Day

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. beckyZ  |  November 6, 2006 at 10:43 am

    Well, I go in for retrieval on tuesday and was told to give myself only half the HCG shot last night because my e2 was at 4900—eeekk!

    on the one hand, i will really be crushed if my cycle gets cancelled due to OHSS, but on the other hand, I have close to 2 dozen follies. Seems like you’re like me in that respect, which I think is GREAT!–I’m xing my fingers for both of us. I have heard that the number of follies jacks up the e2 levels, so in our case I prefer to think we’re right where we need to be–pushing the limit.

    one of my friends gave me some great advice–stop paying attention to the numbers. in the end thay really don’t mean anything and they’re different for every woman. My sermon at church was on having fear and love for God at the same time. I fear what he has in store for me, but I love that he is really and truly doing what’s best for me right now. SO I choose-fiercely-to believe that everything is going well. I hope they continue to go well for both of us.
    The very best of luck, and be PROUD of yourself!
    Becky

    Reply
  • 2. Josie  |  November 6, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    I too think you should stop paying attention to the numbers. The clinic has your best intentions in mind and they WANT it to work.

    Reply
  • 3. Jys  |  November 6, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    Girls, thanks so much.
    The high numbers did put me through a wringer. But it looks like we’re moving forward! Even though they came back at a whopping 5,718 today. :O
    I’m still taking full doze HCG though… even though yes, Becky I did read they give half sometimes in these cases.
    Will just have to trust my doc.
    At this point, relieved that we’re not cancelled. But will now have to watch out for OHSS. Nice. Like there isn’t enough to worry about 😦

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
November 2006
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