Day 47 (cycle day 19) – ER!

Wow, what a day.

First of all let me say I had dreams all night about everything that could go wrong. I dreamt that I woke up and suddenly it was 5 minutes till ER time and my DH was still dilly-dallying at home with me yelling at him and freaking that we are so late. Then I dreamt that I forgot to “not eat” and was munching on pretzels in the morning while talking to my mom. Then I dreamt that we arrived but to the wrong location (the RE office instead of the clinic) and were hanging out there until the receptionist came by wheeling someone and was surprised to see us there. She told us she had cancelled our ER since we were not at the hospital when we were supposed to be. I completely freaked in my dream and was hysterical that we should still be allowed to do it.

Anyway, so much for dreams. DH obviously had dreams of his own, since I got up at night to use the bathroom and he started telling me that I shouldn’t pee before the procedure!

Somehow though we woke up on time and grabbed our stuff and headed out.

Aside of a couple wrong turns, we were there pretty much on time. It was actually a pretty nice feeling to be driving as the dawn came. It was like a day of beginnings. And DH and I held hands feeling sentimental that if all goes well, this will be the day our baby will be conceived.

The place was empty and at first I was wondering if I was in the right place. Could one of my dreams be coming true!! But no. Pretty soon a nice nurse came out and took us to a room. Room 2. There was a hospital bed in there, an IV, seats, lots of places to get comfortable.

First I changed into my gown. I made sure to wear something blue and pink today for equal chances for both boy and girl. I’m nutty like that. But the gown was blue. Did this mean anything?
The nurse came back and we went over a little bit more paperwork and consent forms. She went over the post-op care and also said she will draw the circles for progesterone when I mentioned that those weren’t in place.

She kept coming in and out a few times. Asking me if I’d had anything to drink or eat and such, to make sure.
DH and I took some time to say a little prayer. And then she was back to check my vitals and start my IV. It ws kind of cool that they numb your hand up giving you a novocane (sp?) shot like at the dentists, before the IV. It was in my right hand. I must admit I was kind of nervous. I know so many women had been through this, no big deal. But the thought of being “put out” when I was so wide awake felt so scary. My blood pressure was really high and she said that always happens with patients, cause of them being nervous and is no big deal at all.

Soon the RE came by, all dressed up in his surgical outfit to talk to us. I asked him if my ridiculously high e2 levels lowers our chances. He said no, it actually raises our chances, but also raises the risk for OHSS. He told me to monitor my weight and call them if I gain 2 pounds in a day. I also asked if they would convert to ICSI if the sperm didn’t do their thing and he said they would look at the sperm and decide all that, not to worry.
I also expressed my concern at having ovulated the eggs and he said not to worry, that they time these things pretty well. DH asked if I ovulate at 36 hours, and RE said that typically I would ovulate 39-40 hours after the shot and that we were at 36 hours so 3 hours safety net to work with.

The anastesiologist came in after I had relaxed in the room for about 20 minutes or so.  He was very pleasant and described exactly what he was going to do, which was very nice. He said he would first add some medication for pain that would completely relax me and that I would feel it in about 2 minutes. Then they would wheel me into the surgical room, and then he’d put a mask on me to relax me after I’ve switched beds and then he would give me the meds that would make me fall asleep. He said they are very fast acting and that I would be asleep in 10 seconds. So although I would feel the meds sting a little as they go in, by the time I finish my sentence telling them about it, I will be asleep already. Ok…. so far so good.
He also asked (as the all did for 100 times) about any allergies, medical conditions and such.

Then it started, I got wheeled off. I was in a room where everything was going to be done and there was my RE and nurse in there. Within 2 minutes just like the anasesiogist said, I started feeling extremely relaxed and heavy. I felt about as heavy as a mammoth. Best of all, I was no longer nervous about anything. I just wanted to get comfy somewhere and sleep and didn’t care one bit about what was going to be done as long as I could sleep. It was like a feeling of being so tired and sleepy that you are barely dragging yourself to bed, multiplied by 5.

The embryologist walked in, and I recognized his voice from the time we had the orientation. He verified my name and social, as I was moved to the surgical bed. There was a hole or indention in it of some kind that I had to align myself on so that my behind was right on top of it.

I certainly was feeling completely relaxed and was not concerned about a thing anymore. I just got cozy and prepared to sleep. The anastesiologist put a mask on me and asked me to breath deep which I was more than happy to do. He said I will start to feel the meds sting a little, but honestly I did not feel a thing.

I was suddenly waking up and still feeling heavy like awaking from a very deep sleep. The nurse and my husband where in the room, and I heard something like “You’re all done!” Really???! No seriously? I was told something like 25 follicles had been aspired. I am not sure if my husband told me or the nurse. I felt so incredibly proud of myself for everything being behind me already, although I did not do a thing. What a relief to wake up and know that a procedure you probably wouldn’t have cared to do, was all behind you.

My husband later told me that they wheeled me back in before he even had time to read a couple pages from the book he brought along, and that I was COMPLETELY out. That he was even concerned and kind of hovered over me a little while the nurse and anastesiologist adusted things. He said the nurse asked me if I’m coming to after about 10 minutes, and that I suddenly broke into the biggest smile and said “that was AMAZING!”.

Then I said “that was awesome”

Really?? I did?? holy cow.

Apparently I also asked about a dozen times whether I did OK and how many eggs were retrieved. Each time I was answered by the patient nurse, or my husband or the RE. I do not remember doing any such thing! In fact I only recall asking once! 😛

Its such a weird and sweet feeling to be woken up from anastesia and told that everything is already behind you. I kind of wish they could do that on a plane on very long flights (I’m scared of flying). You wake up and they say, yup, you’re at your destination!

I almost wanted to say “lets go for round two, I can TOTALLY do this again”. I was dissappointed to find out that the RE had already come and spoken to my husband and gone. But the nurse went to get him again. Even though I didn’t really know what to ask.

I asked if they did retrieve the follies (duh!) and he said I had about 25 or so. I asked if this is typical, and he said that typically they go for 15-20, but I had more. But they won’t know anything till tomorrow’s fertilization report. He said with having this many, that if half do good, we’re good, and not to really expect more than half.
He said sometimes they see lots of eggs like 40 even, but typically you don’t want “too much”. Since you don’t want to be at risk of OHSS.
I asked how on earth I got back into my original bed, and he said it was a little bit of magic 🙂

The nurse had come to ask what I’d like to drink. They had a nice selection of juices and I picked apple juice.
Dh went off to contribute on his part and came back to say that I’d put together a really nice set of photos for him. 🙂

The nurse had asked if I was cramping and to rate it 1-10. It was a 2 at first, and then went up to 4. She gave me the options between tylenol and something in my IV. I asked what’s better and she went with the IV medicine. I started to feel better soon after. There was some cramping but nothing really bad.

Soon we were all ready to check out, and my IV was removed. I was wheeled out in a chair and DH brought the car up and off we went home! Exactly 3 hours there in total, just like we were told.
It felt really good to know that we don’t have to worry about the eggs and sperm anymore and had “dropped everything off”. How funny 🙂

It had dawned on me today, that my sadness about DH not being “with me” when our baby would be conceived was not really true. The fact is, we WOULD be together, just that our baby would be conceived without either of us there!! Amazing what technology does.

At home, DH put me straight in bed, and I was all happy to nap again. But not before he surprised me with a vase full of beautiful tulips!! He said there was one for every egg. How sweet. Like I’m not emotionall enough already.
I spent a good few hours napping although I wasn’t ever fully asleep. He stayed beside me browsing on the laptop. He took the day off and now that I’m done writing this, we plan to watch movies or play games.

I do not know how this story ends, and whether this IS the day our little baby is conceived. But I’m not going to worry about a thing more today. For today…. its all good.