Day 54 (cycle day 26) – Back to the grind.

November 15, 2006 at 10:55 pm Leave a comment

Weigh in first thing in the morning. No weight gain.
In fact, I feel so un-OHSS-ish right now that I was actually starting to worry that this could mean that there is no way I’ll be ending up pregnant this month.

As much as I didn’t want the bitter taste in my mouth (nor the bitter reminder of snow-white BFNs) I decided to take a pregnancy test to make sure the trigger was no longer in my system. That way if I go nuts in a few days (I do allow for the possibility of that), and start peeing on everything, I can be sure of my results.
I knew that seeing a BFN would remind me of all the times I had in the past. But I tried to take it in stride. I should not expect a BFP 7 days post ER afterall and instead should be happy the trigger is gone.

Its hard to be happy though, when you gotta head back to serious work. No more lying around on my butt and making hubby run around to do all my biddings.

In a way though, I was happy to go to work and take my mind off everything that would be consuming it right now. I went practically ballistic last night researching stats with single embies, and not believing that after all my hard work I actually did something that LOWERED my chances. It has been one big journey. Nothing like an IUI, or any kind of cycle I ever had in the past. In fast it was SO different, that it almost brought a new world to making babies. It IS a different world. And while no fertile couple would ever volunarily sign themselves up for IVF, I must admit that amidst the stress and needles, there are some feelings that are pretty unique and priceless during this entire process. Making a baby had never been so thrilling or exciting or well..  BIG! The feelings that you share with your husband, when you have created all these embies between you, genetically yours, each your potential child – are priceless.

That said, I could not believe it, but I had to admit that I was a little sad to see the biggest events of the cycle over, and to head back to work. All I wanted was my bedrest back. But with my fantatic internet researching, and agonizing over all my choices, and fearing all my outcomes, I guess it was better to get myself busy with other things. After all now all there is left to do is wait.

That and the wonderful PIO shots, lest we forget. So far, I’ve had 6. My right side has been good, but anytime I’ve had it on the left I suffer from a horrible pain after the shot, that only hits about 30-45 minutes later. How strange. It happens every time. And only on the left side. I’m almost considering taking all the shots on my right from now on.

I hope my little embie is hanging in there. I’ve driven myself crazy thinking and agonizing over having lowered my chances and not taken the other one. But I probably would have been stressing just as bad in the other scenario, having gone against the heavy recommendation of all the medical professionals who advised me. That’s just me. You shouldn’t give me choices.

When reason talks though, I do know that we did the “right” thing. And with a FET cycle to try again should this fail, my chances would even out anyway. When I truly start to slice out everything and all the factors I know I would have made the same choice over again.
The only problem with me is that reason doesn’t talk too often.

 I can’t believe that in less than a week I will know. As much as the 2ww is dreaded, at the same time, I dread the day I will know just as much. I guess because of my fear of the unknown, and the incredibly deep fear of how I will feel if it all failed. High chances or not, I know I can never rule that out as a possibility. Not even the biggest shiniest embie in the world gives a 100%. And there is always that chance.

Well, I’ll try not to think about it. The fate of my cycle has already been decided by God afterall. All I need to do on my part is accept whatever it will be.

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Entry filed under: All Posts, Day by Day.

Day 53 (cycle day 25) – the Freeze! Day 55 (cycle day 27) – I don’t think OHSS is coming

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
November 2006
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