Archive for August, 2007

My Birth Story

IT’S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀

I had this thought of posting the long and detailed birth story, until I realized that I will be lucky enough to post the short version with all the things I have to catch up with and my brand new baby to take care of! 😀

So this post comes a week after fact. My little one was born exactly a week ago on July 28th. At 39 weeks and 3 days. 

Our due date (40 weeks) was August 1st. After our appointment on thursday July 26th, I was told that I was not at all dilated and the baby was pretty high up still, so somehow I was sure that I would be late. In fact I was beginning to be a bit concerned that the baby had not dropped yet. I knw they drop weeks before birth with a first pregancy typically.
I was sure I still had time. On Friday and thursday I took care of things that were not really crucial. I figured I definitely had the weekend to tie up the outstanding important things on my list. But God has His own plan.

Early Saturday morning at 4am I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed I was bleeding. Quite a bit actually, which freaked me out. I ran into the bedroom and told my husband we have a situation and I probably need to call the doctor on call. This was one of the reasons to definitely call. I gave them a call and she called me right back – I was very happy to see it was my very favorite doctor on call – I went to a practice with 4 of them and saw all of them during my pregnancy, but she was my special favorite. She agreed that I probably need to head to the hospital and get checked out.

We threw the remaining items that needed to go into our hospital bag together. It was only 75% packed and I am so glad I had a list of what still needed to go in there. I was a little concerned over the bleeding and wanted to be seen asap. My husband stopped to say a little prayer together before we left, should this be the day. On the way though, it suddenly occured to me that maybe it was just my mucous plug. The bleeding had subsided. I knew that the plug could be lost days/weeks before labor and I certainly wasn’t feeling any contractions. I had a mixed feeling of relief and dissappointment at the same time. If this was a false alarm, it would give us more time to prepare, but at the same time, I already began to feel a weird feeling of excitement and suddenly felt ready if today was the day.
We got to the hospital and they plugged me up to monitors. They said they would watch me for a while. My husband sat by me and we talked – he said this is probably a false alarm. I was beginning to feel that too. Until suddenly I felt a strange wet kind of feeling and then a trickle – I only wondered whether it was my bladder for only a second and knew that my water had broken. I looked at my husband – yup – we were having that baby within 24 hours ready or not.

The nurse got my IV started soon after. They had checked and sure enough it was water. Unfortunately I was still half a centimeter dilated or so and no contractions to speak of. At least not those I could feel. Not very promising. They admitted that they typically like to see water break at 3 centimeters plus. I wasnt at the best starting position and it was looking like it was gonna be a long labor for me. I was ready for anything. I knew that the baby being high up didnt help.Obviously I was gonna have the baby within 24 hours one way or another.

My contractions finally started. But not nearly bad enough to do anything. After some monitoring my doctor advised pitocin to help things along, but told me that it is my choice and I can wait a little longer if I want to. I decided to wait a little longer – no progress. Finally I conceded to a very small dose of pitocin. My contractions definitely cranked up, but I was able to bear the pain. Some time later I was checked again – about 2 cm barely. No progress really. They up-ed my dose, several times. Soon I was having contractions that were almost unbearable, coming every 3 minutes. I had to breathe through them. The day was just zooming by so quickly – it was already late afternoon. After all that I was stil at 2cm. Things didn’t look great. I decided then to get the epidural. I figured if it was going to be a long night, I needed to get some sleep and at least with the epidural I’d be able to relax. NO way could I rest with the pain I was in. I felt a little upset about getting it at 2cm still, when I had thought I would get it like at 7. But I also had to realize that my contractions with the pitocin were anything but the normal contractions for a 2cm dilated woman – most women are in early labor at that time, while my own contractions were coming every 3 minutes and lasting a minute each of excruciating pain. It didn’t help that all I could invision was the unnatural contraction forcing pressure on my cervix that wasn’t ripe and ready for it. Relaxing through the pain was simply impossible.

When the anestesiologist finally showed up I had to remain very still for the epidural – I didn’t know how I was going to do that through contractions which were terrible. I was so grateful for the breaks in between them. Somehow with my husband’s help, I was able to stay till – it took about 4 contractions or so. The pain of the epidural process was nothing compared to the pain from the contractions so I barely even noticed it.

I had it on a very low dose. I wanted just enough not to have contractions from hell. I had a button to administer more drugs which I never used.

Finally I was able to breathe a little easier, even though there was still discomfort and I could feel the contractions. Just that they were something I could live through.

I was still at 2cm though which was so discouraging, even after waiting with the epidural. I was pretty sure at that point I would have a C section when my time ran out – and frankly I didn’t really mind that scenario if it were to happen. I just wanted to have the baby out healthy and that was the ultimate goal – however it had to happen.

A change in shift occured for the nurses, and my next nurse decided to work on some positions with me. She said she believes positioning really helps open up the cervix and she began to try some techniques. I had to lie on my side with one leg propped up on a stirrup. I was willing to try anything.

After a while another nurse came in to check on progess. I said a little mental prayer that there would be some. She couldn’t believe it when she checked. Somehow I was already at 7cm. She said I would be ready in no time at 10. My doctor was called and it all seemed to be happening so fast. Things were being set up with instruments and all kinds of things. Meanwhile DH and I were trying to set up the camera at a good angle. I didn’t want anything graphic and yet I did want to remember the moment forever of our reaction and joy of when our child would be born.

It was all a haze cause it all happened so quickly. Suddenly my doctor was instruction me on how to push and within seconds of that I started actually pushing. I was sure I’d be pushing for hours since the baby was so high up so I was scared that the battery on our camera would run down and wanted my husband to only film the actual moment. But my husband said that he had a feeling it would not be long. The doctor confirmed that he was actually right cause the baby was already down WAY low. I don’t know how our little one did it last minute. Before I knew it, we were pushing. I asked for a mirror to see what was going on cause I didn’t want to miss it. It all seemed so quick, after just a couple pushes, the baby was crowning. Then came the head. I recall DH going “Oh my God…” in total wonder and amazement and excitement. The doctor was great and was encouraging me so well and told me I could do it in one last final push, so I tried extra hard. Then I heard my husband shaky emotional announcement… “honey, we have a little girl!!” There was kissing and tears and a total celebration in the delivery room, I could hear her first cries and she was given to me, before being cleansed off or anything since I wanted to be the first person to hold her. The moment was so surreal that I would never be able to describe it, actually holding that little one that I had bonded with within my body all those months. She was quickly taken away then to be put under the warmer immediately, while my DH and I continued crying and kissing. Once again there was so much going on all at once and I was so eager to know what was going on with her that I didn’t even notice the placenta being born. When I asked about it the doctor told me it was already out and showed it to me. Then she started sewing me up as I unfortunately ended up with some 2nd degree tears. I didn’t even care or notice at the time. I was just focusing on my little one screaming under the warmer and was jealous that my husband could stand right there next to her and I couldn’t. I had barely gotten a glance at what she looked like. The nurse seemed to be taking forever with all the stuff they needed to get done to her and I was getting a little agitated that I wanted her back. The nurse was telling me “In a minute”… until suddenly the doctor looked over at her and firmly insisted that she just bring her back to her mother – all those things could be done later after we had bonded. I was so glad for the doctors intervention.

Finally there she was in my arms and we began nursing right away. She seemed to know exactly what to do right off the bat and it was just amazing to have her latch on for the first time. In one moment it was as if I mourned the loss of my pregnancy and celebrated the birth of my child that I had waited for, for so so sooooooo very long now – for it was a lot longer than just nine months. In one moment it was as if I had crossed a certain dimension door not to return back again.

Today is exactly a week since that incredible moment. In fact as I write this, almost as exact week to the minute. I have had ups and downs – moments of complete incredible happiness, and moments of stress and trying to understand how drastically my life has transformed from pregnancy and expectation to the reality of caring for a helpless infant. I am emotional, of course sleep deprived, but when I look at her… I have no words to express how grateful I am to have her. I remember her from the time she was a little embryo and loved her back then. All too fast, that magical time of waiting for her as she grew inside of me passed, and now she’s out in the world beginning her life and I am privilaged to witness those very first moments and days. I hope to be the best mom I possibly can be – even though it still hasnt hit me yet that I’m a mother. My dream that I prayed and waited for so long is now reality, and I cannot thank God enough for giving me this. Looking back at my journey, I appreciate it and treasure it more than I can ever say.

August 4, 2007 at 8:49 pm 3 comments


Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
August 2007
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