Wheels in Motion…

April 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm Leave a comment

My transfer is at 9:15 tomorrow, and here I am the night before, now mere hours away from it. I have been thinking about all of this mind boggling process a whole lot today. In a way I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that this embie has been frozen in time since that day I went for my fresh cycle that is now my daughter. I remember having to make the hard choice to transfer only one at the time, but it was so very heavily recommended by all the professionals that I trusted that they were recommending what was best. Still, I could not help but feel like I “left the other one behind”. I was brought pictures of both of them, and they showed me the one they would transfer… we had the option to take the second one if we absolutely wanted to. We decided to go with one as they suggested, but I told myself I will definitely come back for that other one, one day…. So now, I feel like that day is tomorrow. And somehow it’s just hard to wrap my mind around the fact that here I am all this time later, going back for this embie that has been frozen in time all this time.

In a way I feel like a FET cycle is even harder to comprehend when it comes to all the crazy facts about it.
So much has happened, the world has moved on – and DH today  compared it to time travel. The fact that this embie “could” have been my daughters fraternal twin is definitely a mind game.

Around 6pm today, I thought about the fact that the process has began of bringing it out of its frozen “time capsule”. I learned that embies start being thawed about 16 hours before transfer so of course I couldn’t help but think around the time the process would start, that this embie has begain its preparation to come back to me.

Of course, I don’t know what awaits tomorrow. Did it make the thaw? Did they have to thaw out another? How does it look? I will learn everything in the morning. And I will certainly blog about how it all went as soon as I get back – being on bedrest means I’ll have little else to do anyway.

So far, I can’t say I am nervous or overly excited or feeling any kind of emotion other than complete awe at the whole idea of the event tomorrow. Only God knows what He has planned for my future, but it is certainly one of those rare moments in time when you know that something huge is happening and yet there is absolutely no telling how it will go or what will be or what awaits you. Its an amazing feeling.

Of course, this cycle brings back memories of the fresh one. I can’t help but feel emotional about it all, remembering the chain of events that all led up to today and just how many happy memories I have been blessed with since the day of my fresh cycle. I feel like my life changed – transformed. And now, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I am a lot less nervous about the outcome or the process than the first time around. I guess because this is only our official “start” of TTC for number 2, and I am not yet being put through the ringer of months of trying. Also, because I’ve been through this process before, I kind of know what to expect. Many women say that a FET is a piece of cake comparing to a fresh cycle. So far so good, but tomorrow still feels like a pretty big day.

Lets see how it goes….

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Entry filed under: 1.

Reminiscing – a little… My Transfer

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
April 2009
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