My Transfer

May 1, 2009 at 11:59 am 1 comment

Well, Im back at home now – it is 11:35 and I am groggily lying on my couch. And within me… my embie.

This morning we woke up early in order to have everything done and DD dressed, fed and sent to childcare and to make it in time to the lab by 8:15.  I had of course tried to plan out everything the night before so that there are no hiccups and nothing to delay us in the morning. We left on time, and the only thing I ran back to get real quick that I had forgotten was my lucky earrings – with crosses on them.
Just like the last time, I wore a mix of blue and pink – for equal chances for boy and girl. Yup, I’m still nutty.

When we got to the lab we squared off our remaining paperwork with the lovely lady at the front and then we taken in by the nurse to room 5 after being in the waiting room for a little bit. It felt like deja vu. This time I felt like a seasoned pro who has been through this before, except it made it all feel emotional somehow too, remembering the events of the last time and realizing that this may be a start of another journey just like it.

The embryologist, a lady this time, came to talk to us about our embie. We had one thawed and looking great and 5 remaining. She discussed all the details with us. she said that blasts are rated before they are frozen on 3 criteria – the inner mass that makes the baby, the outer shell cells that eventually make the placenta and the “cavity” inside. All our embies were rated BBB at time of freeze. She said that the whole freezing and thaw process is extremely harsh on the embies. she explained how they have to take out the water out of them first in order to avoid it forming ice that could hurt the embie and how it has to rehydrate when it is thawed out. so she said that because of all of that, rating an embie after it has been thawed is like rating a person based on looks after they have been through a blizzard. She said, that this considered, it still looks great, and better than most FET ones they see. She said that currently based on looks the inner mass has been graded a C, with the shell and cavity still graded a B. So it is a CBB embie. She said though, that its more like a C+, that all depends on who rates it and stressed again that it looks better than most that they see after a FET. its like she was trying to reassure us that we have excellent chances.

I asked her about what their success rate is with FETs (again) and was shocked when she told me that they actually have better success with FET than with Fresh because of the incredibly strict criteria they use to freeze embies – only the best of the best. At first, it didn’t make sense to me that a FET would have higher chances, but then when I thought about it, it made sense. If for fresh, their chances are all across the board – for both embies that are really good and not so good, but with FETs, their success rate is only limited to the BEST embies since those are the only ones that are frozen, then it makes sense that the success rate migth be higher. Although still mindboggling.

I asked what the success rate was, and she said – 60%. Whoa!

She said that most people  though do not end up with anything to freeze. Only about 10-20% do with their program. And those couples typically have 1 or 2 that they freeze. So that basically, with us having 6 frozen, we are really an anomaly. For some reason its not like I was extatic to hear that. Fact is… I would have rather we’d had only 1 or 2 frozen. even though it might have meant that I felt more pressure and anxiety for the cycle(s) to work out, it would also have meant that I would not have likely been stuck with the extremely emotionally difficult thoughts that I might end up being, if we have embies left over and yet know that we can’t really have any more kids.

I tried to push those thoughts away, I’ll deal with it when and if I get there.

I mentioned to her that it definitely makes things hard when you have so many frozen ones and she said she totally understands and that she’d done IVF herself and didnt have anything to freeze but that she can imagine that she would felt the same way with it being emotionally very tough.

She also mentioned that our little embie was hatching. She showed us the circle of cells that seemed like they were outside the embie. My husband asked a bunch of questions about embies, like what day was this considered in terms of the embies life and so on. She told him that blasts have so many stages – like a collapsed blast, expanding blast, expanded blast, hatching blast, hatched blast (there were more stages). This was a hatching blast and she compared it to a chicken who eventually needs to break out oif its shell because it has grown too big. She said that those cells on the outside were extremely sticky and that this is what the blast will use to “stick” to me.

DH wanted to ask more questions. I think he kind of wanted to know if there was a way to identify embies. he even asked if they are like fingerprints where you could tell which one it was. I know this was in regards to him wanting to know if there was a way they would know if this was the one that we had left behind the first time (since we were shown a photo of the 2 embies they would transfer that day, and we transfered one). He asked if they stored them based on their grading system to where they would pick the “best” one to transfer first. I knew in our case it really didn’t matter since all our 6 frosties were graded the same BBB. She told him that they pick randomly based on the straw that is the closest to them when they open the “freezer” since they always aim to minimize the time with them opening the freezer. She said so its really the luck of the draw or the straw. This one just happened to be the lucky one that ended up being chosen.
Talk about fate. We will of course see what fate has in store for this embie and we’ll know soon enough if I fall pregnant. My official test is on the 11th. But that’s cause of the way the weekends fall, and I know that I’ll be able to do a home pregnancy test sooner than that.

While the embrologist was talking to us, the nurse came in and measured my temp and blood pressure. It was rocket high like last time. I dont’ remember and unfortunately didn’t write down what it was last time, but today is was 150 over 94 – it almost made me freak out, but just like last time she explained that the stress is just so common and they always see really high readings. Not to worry.
She was listening in on all the questions DH was asking and commented that they were great questions. I laughed saying that I hope they weren’t being sarcastic.
The embrologist said that unless an embie had a very specific unique feature or was marked in a certain way, that there was no way to tell them apart of course. there is no way we will know if this was the one that we didn’t transfer 2.5 years ago. But we have one in 6 chance. And one things for sure…. I do believe that God always plans things a certain way. And so whatever one we were transfering today is exactly what He means for it to be. 

The embryologist gave us consent forms to sign that we have elected to transfer only one, which we did.
I also noticed that my name was misspelled on the photo. She said she would change it and was apologizing about that.

I asked the nurse if I was supposed to have a full bladder or empty. I hadn’t been given any instructions. she didn’t know and was gonna find out. It was gonna be a different RE from the one who did it the last time for us, since ours was out of town. Not like we would have a choice since cycles dont really hang around waiting for a specific RE. The nurse eventually found out that it didnt matter a whole lot whether full or not, but best to have bladder half full.

She gave me some valium since my blood pressure was so high to relax me. I wasnt sure if I should take it since I’d had so little sleep as is, but why not.

The embryologist came back with my new photo, but my name had been misspelt with a letter added yet again. She was once again so very sorry  and ran off promising to have the name spelt right on our photo this time. Another embryologist came in after a while handing me the photo of our embie with my completely correct name on the photo.
We waited for a little longer before the RE came in breifly saying that it was time for DH to get dressed so we get going. DH wore his space suit again, all blue from head to toe. He and the nurse wheeled me into the operating room – here we go!

My name and social was verified yet again and the nurse helped get me set up. We talked about pregnancies and she said that hers had been real easy too- that she’d had only one a really long time ago. She mentioned that if she could do it over she’d have 2 kids. She actually remembered us from the last time (our fresh cycle) although woefully, I didn’t remember her too well.

Soon the RE came by and told us that our embie looks really good and gave a thumbs up and then walked off briefly before coming back and turned on some lights and got all ready. He wasn’t as talkative as our own RE whom I miss, and only mentioned “speculum” that he’s about to get started with it. It hurt just a little but the rest of the procedure was OK. I didn’t really know much of what was going on, but just went by memory from the last time. He soon said that he was ready and our lady embryologist brought our embie in. Then, so very shortly, it was over and he asked to check that it is gone. My ever curious DH asked if they insert a tube, and he said that its actually 2 tubes and one is in place while the embrylologist injects the embie through the other. That since it is microscopic, there is no way of knowing if it got injected other than checking to make sure it is no longer there.

He showed DH how to hold me and they transferred me backwards so I was laying on my bed again. He said our transfer went very well and “good luck guys”.
That was that. One hour of rest in the room before heading home.

DH and I spent the time talking. We talked about the last time around, we talked about DD and how amazing it all was.  I talked about pregnancy and the awesome parts of it, as well as the parts I’m not looking forward to, should I fall pregnant – like the nausea – ugh. But for now… it was just amazing to do it all again.

I defiinitely was ready to go to the bathroom after a while, but the nurse suggested I wait ten more minutes (9 actually) before checking out fully. She took my blood pressure again, which was down to 131 over 85 – not perfect but lots better I think.

Dh went out to talk to the nurse before we checked out and I went to use the bathroom and when I came out I heard him talking to her about his whole time travel analogy. She was agreeing about how all the technology was so mindboggling that one might go crazy just thinking about it. She also talked about how it would be awesome that this embie and our DD today are actually from the same “batch”. If we fall pregnant, maybe they’ll have a special bond somehow? DH kept referring to the little embie as a she. I laughed remembering how the first time, it was the other way around and then to our amazement we had a girl (we didn’t find out till the day she was born). So now, he automatically says “she”… so who knows,  a boy destined maybe? 🙂

We’ll see… we have to get pregnant first. Right now as I type this… I wonder what is happening. Is that embie finding its way to implant and start growing?
I got wheeled out as standard procedure like the last time. Dh had the car ready and we headed home. I was kind of falling asleep in the car, but now back home am wide awake. How blissful to have an excuse to just lie in bed all day though. I’m enjoying a few more hours of quiet before my toddler gets home.  Then I guess it will be tricky… i have to stay horizontal somehow.

Well…. the amazing day took place. And I guess we’ll find out the outcome soon enough.
I’ll keep everyone posted!!!

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Entry filed under: 1.

Wheels in Motion… To be or not to be…

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Lut C.  |  May 2, 2009 at 5:41 am

    Fresh or FET, there’s always a lot of emotions to deal with.

    Fingers crossed!

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
May 2009
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