Yet another dream?

May 23, 2009 at 10:16 pm 2 comments

Ok, this blog is NOT about to become an account of every wacky dream I have, I promise! 🙂

Just that this morning I woke up after yet ANOTHER wacky dream about the FET cycle, so how can I not mention it? I guess the cycle is really in my subconcious somewhere, even though during the day there are enough distractions to keep me from obsessing over it for sure.

So this time, I dreamt that it was transfer day – and of course we were in a completely different environment, living in some totally different city. And my transfer was at 8pm (in the evening!) and for some reason, at 8:15 I was still at home, running terribly late and trying to jump into the car to get there. So of course DH is driving like a mad dog through this unfamiliar city, making wrong turns, getting in traffic jams etc, while I am on my cell phone calling them and telling them I’ll be RIGHT there and freaking out completely.
So we get there some time before 9 and they tell me, they are sorry but transfers are a very time sensitive process and I missed my window. So I am TOTALLY flipping out and just going insane yelling that they simply HAVE to transfer and how can this just totally ruin my entire cycle. And they keep going sorry, but it really should have been done at 8 sharp. So I say, you can’t just let my thawed embie die – you HAVE to transfer it, no matter what chance it has got. So finally, they agree listening to that logic, and I am SO totally grateful and get into this long waiting room with a bunch of women about to undergo their transfers.
Then I talk to the nurse and ask her about my embie and she tells me, this is really not typical and not normal, but they had to thaw out THREE before they finally got this one, cause the first 3 didn’t make it. I’m like WHAT! And she says, but the good thing is that the one thawed is an ABB – a really great rating.
And then right as I’m processing all that info, I get approached by some chineese looking staff member again who tells me he’s very sorry, but they changed their minds and cannot do the transfer and that’s final. It should have been done at 8 o’clock.
At that point I’m in total shock, saying what you are telling me is that FOUR embies got used up on this cycle that is completely cancelled? And he says yes, you’ve now got one left.

On that note I wake up.
It is truly relieving to wake up from dreams like this, where you are so thankful for reality when you realize none of it was real.
I do remember the opposite though. Times when I woke up to my reality and wished my dream had been true.

For some reason though, both scenarios are stressful experiences. I’m kind of hoping that I dream about something else other than my FET cycle tonight.
As long as it is not about my weight… even though I’ve been in the gym pretty religeously, I seem to have noticed a weight GAIN instead of a loss! Ugh. Won’t think about it, and will just keep trying to do the best that I can. That’s all I can do.

Starting progesterone suppositories tonight – fun!

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Entry filed under: 1.

Triggered! Logistics!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Flower  |  May 24, 2009 at 7:12 am

    Girl, you and your wacky dreams. Hey, don’t be late on the actually transfer day…(wink) Have fun with the messy progesterone. LOL

    Reply
  • 2. Lut C.  |  May 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    What a nightmare that one was; :-S
    Good luck and sweet dreams!

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
May 2009
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