Archive for September, 2009

Baby kicks and more…..

The last time I wrote, I seriously didn’t think it will be this long before I would post again. There were thousands of things I *planned* to write about – like about how I got obsessed with the “nub theory” (way to find out gender early) since I suddenly realized I ended up with a “nub” sonogram photo from my optional end of trimester screening. It wasn’t that I wanted to KNOW the gender, but rather I wanted to convince myself that I hadn’t found out accidentally – cause I was so concerned that day that the surprise might have been ruined. Anyway, all sounds silly now. But I had wanted to write about it, for the reason that learning about the whole nub theory ended up to be quite fascinating! And I couldn’t believe that I had gone through an entire pregnancy without knowing of such a thing. When there are actually entire forums of people sharing “nub” pictures and guessing (accurately too!) the baby’s gender at 12 weeks or earlier! And apparently, this is who experienced sonographers are able to know that early in the game as well.

Anyway – HAD wanted to write about all of that. That was over a month ago. LIfe just got busy and in fact, its not getting any lighter. I won’t bore any blog readers with all the details going on since, with more than a month’s worth of catching up to do, this would make this post long enough to put even the most devoted reader to sleep.

I’ll stick to the current and most relevant updates.
Which are…

I’m doing ok and am now at 17+ weeks.
I had a doctors appointment today and actually a follow-up screening (for the optional screening) on Tuesday, so got to enjoy another sonogram and gasp at the details of the baby’s movements
We still chose to not find out gender.
The most common comment I hear when people ask and I say we have chosen to keep it a surprise is “oh, I could never do that”.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have done it differently this time and found out. But the surprise the first time around, was SO worth it. I loved it… and I figure I will have the rest of my life to know what this baby’s gender is. Why rush, when I can just bask in the surprise now.
To be honest, its not like I have too much time to even think about whether I want to find out or not. I think the biggest thing worrying me about this pregnancy (other than my colossal weight gain which I had hoped SO much to avoid) is how little TIME there is to truly enjoy a second pregnancy. In a way, it makes me sad. I feel like it is just flying by and I should be savoring every minute. Who knows, this may very likely be my last one. Why am I not spending each day, basking in it and appreciating every single second.
But with a toddler, and with crazy life as it is right now, it is very hard. Sometimes, the pregnancy still feels very surreal. Especially now that the worst of the nausea has abated (thank GOD!!!) all I seem to feel is that I’m this fat person who is supposedly pregnant. It doesn’t really sink in.
However the baby kicked me today. It was a without a doubt kick. I have felt movements before, where I realized it was the baby, but the feeling was not strong enough to not have that “without a doubt” feeling. Not today. Today, it was 100% baby. And for that one moment, I just sat down on the couch for a second and tried to stop the world and say I’m going to feel this and enjoy this – for once. I’m going to shove everything else aside, no matter how much it is burning, and just enjoy this moment. Because it is precious and one day it will be gone forever. And I will look back and ask myself how did I let it all go by and be so busy that I couldn’t stop for a second and realize how special this time is.

So next, I decided to write on here too.
I have been making little notes about my pregnancy in my diary – mainly noting weight gain and such, but not NEAR as much as I’d done the first time around. Its very sad to me, but like I said, for the most part it has been truly crazy lack of time and a toddler who is getting really terrible-twoish and keeps me busy around the clock – the time of that clock where the first time around I’d had time to sit down and bask in pregnancy that is.

I just wanted to take a minute right now though to just write it all down, and to say I am thankful. I wish there was more time, but if there isn’t going to be any, then I will simply have to make it happen and not just let it all go by without appreciating this miracle.

Nothing is perfect – life certainly isn’t. I can list a million things right now that I am wishing were a little different in my life. Just one, out of these million would be that I wish I didn’t weigh as much as I did and I wish I wasn’t gaining this much weight, when I had so much to begin with. It feels so unfair.
But I will try not to forget my blessings, amidst all the things that I haven’t been as “blessed” with.
It is my greatest hope of course, that everything will continue smoothly – that I will not develop any complications (a big fear for me this time around for some reason) and that this baby will be born healthy and full term and that I will hopefully be healthy too.
Nothing else really matters.

I miss my blogging. And I sure hope that the next time I update, will not be long from now…

September 10, 2009 at 10:00 pm 1 comment


Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
September 2009
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