Archive for February, 2010

Valentine’s Day: 40 weeks! And counting?

With 15 minutes left to go before midnight I think it might be pretty safe to say I’m not going to have a Valentine’s Day birthday here after all.

I am 40 weeks today! A milestone I have made for the very first time. It is actually strange to sit here thinking – this is my due date. And to go past it. I guess every pregnancy IS different, and it is interesting to have it go a different way for a change.

I feel like the baby has grown to a whole new level size-wise. The night before last (Friday night) in the evening the baby started moving with such big and strong movements that it was excruciatingly painful to stand or move during that time at all. On that particular night I even got concerned that maybe the baby is too active and behaving in a frantic manner. I even spent some time looking it up. But now it has been happening every night since, in the same fashion. I think baby is just much larger than anything I’ve ever had to carry in the past. After all, I am in uncharted territory right now.

I feel now like the baby just isn’t going to come out. Silly as it might seem, the only reason I simply KNOW the baby will, is because I have the scheduled induction one way or another. I am wondering whether to try to push that date now (I never even thought about it twice in the past because I never thought I’d make it to that day). But on the other hand, when I think about the size of the baby I wonder if it will be wise to just go for induction after all if I haven’t delivered by that day. I’m WAY uncomfortable these days and the pain against my cervix is something else when baby is moving if I am trying to walk at that time. And its not like I’ll get any brownie points for waiting longer – baby will still be zero days old on the day of birth. I hope things will happen sponteneously before the induction, but we’ll just have to see at this point. I’m not guessing on anything anymore, that’s for sure.

At least today I got to RELAX. Forget all the honey-dos and all the productivity – I decided, I simply need a day of rest. Since Dh was home, he helped out with DD quite a bit and did all the cooking and cleaning, while I spent a good part of the day simply relaxing in a recliing chair – *bliss*! After all, when will I get to do this again? And in all honesty, I have to appreciate the magnitude of work and responsibility that I will be faced wtih in just a few more days or even hours when I will for the first time in my life have both a toddler AND a newborn to care for and be thrown back into breastfeeding every 2 to 3 hours and weeks of sleepless nights, not to mention recovery from birth. Yes, I think a relaxing day was well deserved today.

I will just celebrate the fact that I am 40 weeks pregnant today on my due date that happens to be the special day of Valentine’s as well. 40 weeks, and who’s counting anyway! 🙂

February 14, 2010 at 11:57 pm 4 comments

Sex to get UNpregnant?

Things have been really ironic around here these days. Every day is the same, I am heavily pregnant and waiting for any kind of “concrete” sign that I am going into real labor. The irony is, I’m experiencing the waiting game during ansy moments like wishing to go into labor when my favorite doctor is on call, or hoping that the big day will not end up being Valentine’s day – somehow I would rather baby has his/her own special day for a birthday  – especially when  we ironically picked up this embryo exactly when we did (it could have been any time after all).

In my doctor’s office on Monday, when I expressed my surprise that the baby hadn’t been born already, and cautiously refused to have my membranes shifted, since I wanted to wait for everything to happen in its own time, she suggested that I go home and have lots of sex. What irony. Ha. I’ve heard that one before. Go home and have lots of sex, and it should lead to what you are trying to achieve. Didn’t work for me in terms of GETTING pregnant, so why would it work now to get me “un”pregnant? 🙂 lol

Still, I’ve dutifully tried. Sex is afterall lots more fun and seemingly “natural”  than some procedure in the office as we all know. But why as I expected, lots of sex has gotten me nowhere. This baby just isn’t checking out.

As I go into the weekend, I suddenly feel like I’m definitely going to have the baby on Valentine’s day, just because this is what I’d rather wasn’t the case.

I shake my head thinking – at first this was a timing issue of getting my period to show up on time in order for transfer of embryos to be feasible and for things to not fall on weekends where I would have to miss cycles and such. Now its a different dance of hoping the right doctors are on call and things preferably don’t fall on special occasions and all of that. And in both cases, I have absolutely no control, and sex doesn’t work.

I guess we’ll see what happens. So far there are no signs of labor in the least. Only those constant braxton contractions that I have been having for over a week and am totally used to now. I won’t even predict or try to use instinct on what will happen anymore, but I’ll just say that I’ll guess Valentine’s day … it is my due date after all. And while I never expected to reach it, I guess one thing I need to know by now from all my experiences, it is to always expect the unexpected.

February 12, 2010 at 1:26 pm 1 comment

My Longest Pregnancy Ever?


I am still pregnant! :O Here I am sitting in front of the computer, on the equivalent day that my DD was born (4 days early) with absolutely no signs that this little one will want to do the same.

This has been a weird week. My favorite doctor had been on call over the weekend and I was somehow SURE going into the weekend that I will have my baby before the week starts. I was SURE that the next post I will be making here will be the big announcement that my baby is here. Well, talk about being thrown in for a loop! Even though I had braxton contractions almost all of Saturday, on Monday, I headed to my regular doctor appointment for the week – one that I had never thought I would make.

It somehow didn’t make sense. After all, this baby is supposedly bigger, was always measuring ahead of schedule, I am 3cm dilated and on and on. I was so sure that this baby will appear even earlier than big sister did. But apparently, God has other plans. I am now sitting here on WEDNESDAY evening and wondering at this point if I am going to be pregnant forever cause this labor thing will never actually happen.

In a way it is really ironic that when the 3rd trimester is so much tougher on me, and I have a toddler on my hands and so on, is exactly when the baby suddenly decides to sit and wait longer. If I get past today without going into labor and delivering this evening (which is what its looking like right now) this will officially become my longest pregnancy ever. Who’d have “thunk”? 🙂 Its interesting in a way to think about the fact that this was a FET baby, more advanced at implantation and more advanced and measuring ahead of schedule all of pregnancy. But this didn’t mean in the least that the little one wanted to come out sooner.

Well, I know that sooner or later it will happen. I know this logically anyway – cause otherwise, irrationally, I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will. In a strange way, its kind of a similar feeling of TTC, when you wonder if something is ever really going to you. Irrational, I know – but it just “feels” like the same kind of feeling, where you begin to feel that something that you are waiting for is just not happening. I guess the only difference is that I know with my logical mind that I am pretty much “guaranteed” an end to this pregnancy sooner or later one way or another. A guarantee I couldn’t have when I was TTC.

I guess I’ll keep waiting! And will update everyone soon as to what fate had in store…

February 10, 2010 at 5:47 pm 2 comments

On the Brink!

Well, I am going to be 39 weeks tomorrow!! If I make it there. I’m officially about to have this baby at any time and am now just waiting!
Not exactly “just” waiting – I still have so many things to do in that time, so I just do things until I run out of time. But it is certainly that time – that time when you are getting calls every 2 minutes with people asking, “Is the baby here yet?” “Are you in labor yet?” – and if YOU call anyone, everyone is jumping to conclusions that this must mean that you are headed to the hospital. Its exciting but still very surreal when I know that any day now I will be holding my second child in my arms. I’m so used to life the way it is now – husband, toddler, and heavily pregnant me. I’ve learned to live with maneuvering around with this heavy tummy and do everything I would otherwise – or whining for DH to help. But logically, I know that these are my last days, or maybe even the last hours, of life as I know it now.

I had a regular appointment on Tuesday, which was special because I went with both DD and DH. I was at 2 centimeters at that time. And then I had another doctor visit yesterday and was at 3cm dilated! It all seems like this means it can happen any second. But I am still waiting. Technically still with a week to go, but it is ingrained in me that since DD was 4 days early and this baby is measuring ahead of time, surely this somehow means that this baby isn’t going to wait the whole week. Who knows though, life is full of surprises. With DD Iwasn’t dilated so much as a centimeter, nor had she dropped, and I was told that I probably have a while to wait yet when lo and behold she just chose to arrive out of the blue. With this one, I’m at 3 centemeters and still waiting. I guess its a bonus of 3 cm I don’t have to labor for. All the braxton contractions I have been having here and there are doing some of that work prior to the big day. But this does not mean life is pain-free. Baby is huge and if I try to move around while baby is moving, it becomes impossible and literally hurts. I get this sharp pain in my cervix and just have to stop in that moment and wait for the baby to settle.
Through it all though, I try to enjoy this stage as much as possible, for who knows if I will ever get to be pregnant again. There are certainly a lot of things about pregnancy that are not fun. But I try to forever ingrain in my brain the wondrous parts about it, like what it feels like to have this not-so-little human move around inside my body.

Am I ready? Maybe as ready as I’ll ever be. There are still things to tie up, and we’ll see how many of them I get done. I guess posting on my blog is taken care of 🙂 I am sure the next post will be the big news!

I will keep everyone updated!

February 6, 2010 at 2:36 pm 3 comments

Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506

Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
February 2010

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