The Bittersweet Postpartum Checkup

March 30, 2010 at 10:00 pm 2 comments

I had my 6 week checkup today. The last official appointment for this pregnancy. Why are these things always so sentimentally sad? Or is it just me? You get a doctor and a place you go to that becomes just a routine part of one of the most amazing/special times in your life. And then its over and it feels like goodbye. To an ob/gyn, this is what they do, day in day out. Patients come and go and babies are born every day. But to us, they become this part of the most special events of our lives. And then its time to say goodbye. Why can’t we keep them? 🙂

I guess we can if we just keep getting pregant over and over. But reality is getting pregnant, going through pregnancy/birth and the responsibility of raising a person is this HUGE ordeal and one always just has to think twice before even embarking on this journey – starting with the whole stress of BFNs or BFPs and continuing on and on till…. well, forever. You never stop worrying and stressing after that. The type of phase just morphs from one into another, but each comes with its set of things to worry about. Those of us who survive TTC only have to go on to survive everything else. To our child’s first illness to the day when they get teased in school to meeting their first boyfriend/girlfriend to worrying about whom they will marry to worrying about THEIR kids – it simply never ends after that. So each time before we even consider the nuttiness of adding yet another such journey into the mix, we have to think very carefully. What is wonderful about it, is truly priceless. But the bad parts are hell.

For one thing… pregnancy and childbirth is certainly not a picnic. As romantic as it is and as magical as it sounds, it takes a toll on your body the likes of which no IF treatment has seen. I have now experiences both kinds of child births and I have to say that while the moment your child is born is equally as powerful in each, the whole process of birthing and recovery is equally as horrendous. While I kept hearing that a C section is longer to recover from, I certainly didn’t find the pain of recovery worse than for my first natural birth experience. I’d almost be willing to say I preferred the sore site being the tummy than being sore whenever I sat on anything. And I do remember the moment when I knew I was going to have a C-section having the some-what good thought that my perineum is going to end up unscathed for this birth.

That said, of course the C-section comes with its own price. I found out today that I can never again be induced now that I’ve had a c-section. I didn’t know that. Is that a so-bad thing? I don’t know. But this means that any kind of “planning” if I ever have another child will be the c-section kind. If I want to have a vaginal delivery, I’ll have to go into labor on my own.
I almost might have a numbness above my incision, perhaps forever. Its not horrible, but it may never go away.
Oh and of course, yes, I’ll always have a scar. That said, the technology they use these days is amazing with dermabond – and my wonderful ob, who had 2 c-sections herself was particularly good at this procedure, where everyone raved to me about what good a job she does. Even now only 6 weeks out, all I see is a thin line that’s healing really nicely.

The not-so-nice part about it is that I have the dreaded overhang of skin over it. This is definitely one case where “out of sight, out of mind”, does not apply. the overhang of skin comes courtesy of having been pregnant, and in my case with a particularly large baby. That too may be something I get to keep forever, since I was reading today that it can be almost impossible to get rid of the overhang other than having a tummy tuck. Awesome. Hey, at least there’s that option.

Finally something else I’m upset about, and this has nothing to do with anything other than being my own fault, is that I have regained some of the weight I lost!!! I stepped on the scale this morning and to my horror, I saw that I had regained 9 of the almost 40lbs I lost! This is a trap I really didnt want to fall into a second time around. Nursing is supposedly great for losing weight, but it makes me RAVENOUS. Something I have vowed to fix as of today. I am going to have to start eating only healthy foods, crazy as my life is right now.

My ob of course discussed birth control options. Yet another one of those mind game things for those of us who surviving ttc. After surviving TTC, you kind of figure you are your own birth control. But yes, there’s this funny thing called irony. And since I was technically unexplained, with both DH and I passing every test with flying colors, who knows. If I ever do get pregnant again, I certainly would want to reserve it for my embies. We’ll just have to see how life plays out and if I am destined to survive ttc again.

For now, I left my doctors office today with another bitter-sweet feeling. Like the kind you get when you leave your RE’s office because you have moved on. Now, I have moved on from pregnancy too. Thank God that my relationship with our pediatrician will be a very long-term one. That’s at least one kind of doctor you don’t say goodbye to anytime soon.

As far as the damage to my body and everything that is involved, I know that I look at my little newborn and know in that instant that it is all worth it in a heartbeat. Then again, ask me again once he turns into a toddler like my little DD. I already see, from raising her that yup, he will get there. Which makes that newborn phase even more special right now and something that I want to cling on to. Hey, after going through all that we mommies do, we deserve to have that precious newborn to keep forever as a prize. Why they have to turn into toddlers with terrible twos,or teens down the line, I don’t know ;P

But oh well, enough for one post. I’ll have to come back here and write about all the other things on my mind and all the other feelings and phases that I can’t cram all into one day.

For now, I survived the post-partum visit. And checked out OK! 🙂

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Entry filed under: 1.

The Last Pregnancy Test THIS baby.

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lut C.  |  March 31, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    These milestones are always a reminder of the fact that all things come to an end. But as you say, there are still many lovely times to look forward to (though they all bring their worries with them).

    I asked my RE about my ob/gyn’s recommendation to take BCPs. He said it’s very important after a C-section not to get PG again too soon, certainly not to deliver again within 12 months. Because there are always exceptions, ob/gyns prescribe BCP to IF patients too. But my RE admitted that many just refused to take them.
    I didn’t take them.

    Reply
  • 2. Jericho  |  April 17, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    How is everything going now? Missing you for an update! Praying all is well for you and yours.

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
March 2010
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