The return of the ironic fertility

July 19, 2010 at 10:43 pm 1 comment

The weekend before last I noticed something I had not seen in a loooooong time – ewcm. (Almost everyone who spent long enough ttc knows exactly what that is). And I thought… could this mean that my fertility is now returning after having had my baby and all these months of nursing. I figured well, I guess I will find out in two weeks if this gets followed up with AF. I didn’t need to wait that long. My long lost AF suddenly reunited with me out of the blue on Saturday. After well over a year (not counting childbirth of course) of being completely and blissfully AF-free.

It was somewhat bittersweet. Although I can’t complain after 5 months, when with my DD, it just took 2. For some reason, even after having a baby, I kind of hoped to not have anything that would even make me think about fertility for a while and just enjoy the moment – an AF-free life is really not that bad. But she’s back. And why do I have the feeling that she will be returning monthly again the way she always does.

I think sometimes about whether it is in the stars for me to have a third child someday and do this whole thing all over again. Sometimes I think its just something I tell myself “might” happen, but realistically it won’t. Other times, I tell myself that it is inevitable that i will yet do another FET someday. But for now, I just enjoyed my new DS and put those thoughts aside for as long as they would stay there. The return of AF, reminds me that one day, sooner or later I will  have to think about whether this is a journey I will once again embark on. I’ll guess we’ll see how life turns out. For now, I simply don’t know.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

THIS baby. A visit to my ob

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. LutC  |  July 20, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    There’s always something to remind us, isn’t there. Good to hear that for the most part, you’re enjoying life as it is.

    Reply

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Expecting Number 2… :)

My TTC History

Started TTC May 2005
RE diagnosed as unexplained in Feb 06.
natural IUI #1 March 06 - BFP, m/c :(
natural IUI #2 May 06 - BFN
clomid IUI #3 July 06 - BFN
femara IUI #4 August 06 - BFN

Skipping suggested injectables,
moving to IVF
Bloodwork: Oct 12 for lupron
ER estimated 1st week of Nov

UPDATE:
25 eggs, 15 fertilized.
1 blast transferred, 6 frozen.
Precious baby Girl born in July 07.

After 2.5 years of Bliss since that BFP...

April 2009: Start of TTC #2.
(Going back for the embies I left)
Apr 15: Start of Natural FET cycle.
May 1: Transferred single blast
May 11: BFN :(
Straight to Natural FET #2
May 29: Transferred single blast
June 4: BFP!!!!
June 8: 1st beta - 177
June 10: 2nd beta - 506


UPDATE:
Healthy baby Boy born 2010!

Fast forward several years...

June 2013: Surprised with a completely natural and completely unplanned BFP!
July 2010
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